Insomniac Nightmares

It hasn’t been a productive week as I write this. I find myself picking listlessly at the pile, snatching a bronze here, a silver there. Currently working on Vikings, a little Diablo clone drenched in Norse warpaint, but it doesn’t really satisfy. The gameplay is very slow, progression slower still, plot minimal, and trophies few and far between. Unsatisfying on all fronts.

I did finally put Kawaii Deathu Desu to bed, after some 600 playthroughs, 90 of them in one day, and I am very glad I no longer have to look at the game. It was quite amusing at first, but after staring at it for twenty hours or so, what charm it had has worn off. I was quite happy to move it to the “hidden content items” section of the PS4 library.

Unsure of what I want to do now. GameFly tells me The Last of Us 2 is due to arrive in my mailbox any day now. I’m not excited about it. I couldn’t stand the first one, and don’t see any reason to be excited for the sequel, but I’ve had enough of people claiming I can’t say I dislike it unless I play it, so I’m going to slap it on my trophy list so people can see I did play it and probably will still hate it. Still, given the minimal effort it looks like the trophies will take in that one, I don’t expect it’s going to keep me interested for long, and will probably need to be taken in small bites.

Right now I think I’m just killing time until I can dive into Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles. I’m hoping it will scratch the itch of something action-y and grind-y yet relatively quick. The knowledge that I’ll be able to play with friends, even though they all opted for the Switch version, is nice… we’ll see if the game still holds up all these years later.

What’s on your blotter, folks? What games are you working on, what do you wish you were working on, what games do you hate and wish you weren’t playing but are bullying your way through anyway? Have you tried Crystal Chronicles yet? What do you think? Let us know down below!

I gave up. Kingdom Hearts is on its way back to GameFly. Between hating Chain of Memories even more than I hate the rest of the series, boredom with Birth By Sleep as I went to fill in Aqua and Ventus’ reports after already having done everything with Terra, and beating my head against the wall repeatedly trying to finish the EX Gummi Missions in Kingdom Hearts II, I decided it was best to walk away. I can always come back to it later, I suppose.

As though attempting to purge myself of the taint, I went back to a few games that still needed some love. Redownloaded Dishonored, and made it through the first couple of chapters (both lethal and non-lethal), snatching a nice double handful of trophies along the way. Don’t know if it’s grabbed me enough to make me bludgeon through the whole thing on the way to the platinum just yet, but it was a nice change of pace.

Also picked up Resident Evil 6 again; I’d previously beaten Chris and Jake’s campaigns, but Ada and Leon still needed love as well as most of the miscellaneous trophies. Picked up a handful of the misc. stuff in a couple of sessions, but not much story progress. I’ll get there. Probably going to speed through Leon’s campaign tonight, then pick at Ada and the collectibles while I wait to see what torture GameFly inflicts on me next.

While on the subject of RE6, I just want to point out: It isn’t nearly as bad as some folks make it out to be. Is it a good Resident Evil? Oh, good Christ, no. But is it a decent game with lots of content and fun to be found? Yes. (Note, I am considered a pariah in the RE fandom for this opinion, as well as the one that says RE4 isn’t all that great.)

Mega Man X Legacy Collection is going strong, even though I’m awful at it. Finished all the X1 content, and knocked out most of X4; still have to kill the last boss with Rookie Hunter mode turned off. (Sigma kicked my ass for about 3 hours, I decided I’d had enough, and in a moment of weakness I turned to easy mode. Sue me.) Haven’t touched X3 as of yet, and X2 is made of hatred (can’t even take out Overdrive Ostrich so far), but I’ll get there eventually, I’m sure.

Also came back to Doom (Reboot/2016/4 or whatever you want to call it.) I’d knocked out all the multiplayer trophies a while ago, but hadn’t gotten far in singleplayer. Trying to rectify that. Just got back from my first trip into hell, which I think is around the 1/3rd to halfway point. Picking up collectibles and weapon challenges as I go, unless they prove to be too big a pain in the ass (I can always use chapter select to pick them up later when I’m a dark god fully stocked with Runes and the BFG), and only got one trophy out of it so far (the one for going to hell the first time), since the other basic stuff had already been knocked out when I picked at it initially, but it’ll steamroll eventually, I’m sure.

The living room in the (no longer exactly) new place is coming together, and the streaming PC was located at last, so I may get back to doing some streams soon; any suggestions on what you’d like to see played if and when I do? Always open. What trophies are you looking at, or have recently been added to your cabinet? Let us know down below!

Been a bit since I did one of these, since I decided to take a sabbatical and then everything went south for Christmas.

Not much was accomplished during the month of December, I fear. I did manage to get the Platinum in the first three Uncharted games, which was satisfying. I still have to do a few things to claim 100% in them – have to do the speed runs in Among Thieves and Drake’s Deception, and have to do Brutal difficulty on all three – but I am pleased to have finally ticked them off my list. Maybe one day I’ll go back and do the PS3 versions, just because. Also on the Uncharted train, I restarted Golden Abyss on the Vita, though given my Vita’s battery issues and comfort issues while using it, it’s significantly slower going than the console editions were.

I also delved back into one of my most hated series ever. Kingdom Hearts. I know it makes me a heartless monster, but I’ve never liked the series. I enjoy the hell out of the combat mechanics, it satisfies my semi-autistic OCD grind-loving tendencies, but the graphic style and plot – or, as I call it, “that incomprehensible mess that was the result of three dozen unmedicated schizophrenic fanboys being let loose with typewriters and nobody to tell them ‘no'” – as well as the godawful voice acting and the general attitude of most of the fans of the series irritate me. Still, it was lurking in my trophy log with only one trophy popped from ages ago, so I decided to tick it off.

Kingdom Hearts has fallen to my blade. Kingdom Hearts II is almost done; I have to do the stupid skateboard game with 5,000 points, get 1,000 points skateboarding in Twilight Town, do the posters minigame, deal with the Gummi Ship crap and beat it on hard. It’ll happen, it’s just annoying. Birth By Sleep is likewise almost done; I have to finish filling in Aqua and Ventus’ journals (mostly finish off the arena and beat the Flaming Dogturd of Hatred… I mean, the Mysterious Figure… with them) and then beat it on hard. I also have to finish the damned duck-quacking rhythm minigame, but I’m already tearing my hair out from hearing “It’s A Small World” roughly 8,000 times trying to get it. Chain of Memories, though. Ugh. I have… 3? Maybe 4? trophies in it, and I hate the damned thing. It takes away the one joy I find in these games (the combat) and replaces it with a sluggish, unintuitive and frequently annoying mess, replaces the decent exploration with an annoying collectathon that is more trouble than it’s worth, and amps up the unintelligible story to 11. Yay.

I’ll wade through – if only to say I did it – but I am not happy about it.

Other minor progress was made on the Crash Bandicoot collection, though the platinums for that are likely to remain permanently out of reach; those time trials are just not something I think I can do. The controls and frustration factor are just too aggravating for me to persevere. Also picked up volume 1 of the Mega Man X Legacy Collection, and while my ancient skills at this arcane series have long since faded, I’ve managed to bludgeon my way into Sigma’s Fortress in the first game, and feel confident that I will be able to get the platinum, given time and effort. Lastly, delved back into Silent Hill: Book of Memories, which I am aware makes me a heathen but is still a game I enjoy. The trophy grind is ridiculous here – you get one for roughly every 4 maps you complete, but it’s going to take a whole lot of grinding on each one to get some progress done – and I’ll never platinum it (can’t afford the DLC, and there’s a handful of multiplayer trophies that just aren’t happening 7 years after the game came out) but I still like it.

All in all, not a great month – especially compared to periods where I managed to platinum 10-15 games and rack up several hundred trophies – but at least a somewhat satisfying one. We’ll see how the new year goes.

What’re you working on? What games should I chase after imaginary e-penis points in next? Let us know down below!

It has been a period of reflection, for the most part. I finished Catherine: Full Body, with the exception of the Rapunzel minigame and the Babel levels. Both are being picked at, but my frenzy for the game has subsided a bit. Code Vein has fallen to my determination, with two of the four endings checked off. The last two can be done in one run (essentially, ignore an item, kill the last boss; reload your save, pick up that item, kill the boss again), but I’ve been picking at it slowly. The Cathedral area is pain personified, the least navigation friendly zone in any Souls-like game I’ve ever played, and doing it a third time (while having to poke into all the corners, because you need to collect all the doodads for the final ending) is just not making me a happy camper.

But, as noted, it’s been about reflection. Going back and ticking a few boxes on older games. I’ve been working on Indigo Prophecy, which I remember enjoying when it originally came out, and which still has some charm to it, but whenever it pops up the “get ready!” prompt in the middle of the screen, I cringe. Whoever decided to make the controls operate off of a pair of Simon Says machines running in the middle of the screen at fast pace never stopped to contemplate folks who’re down an eye. Kinda hard to focus on both of them, and you need to if you want to pass the QTEs. Still, about halfway through.

I also redownloaded Beyond: Two Souls, intending to give it a try again. I’ve absolutely demolished Heavy Rain, I’m about halfway through Detroit, I beat Indigo Prophecy when it originally came out and have hit the halfway mark on the PS4 version. What was missing? David Cage’s other magnum opus.

God, I hate Beyond. It makes me want to punch Ellen Page right in the nose. I hate Jodie, I hate Aiden, I hate the storytelling, I hate the lack of an actual story, and while Cage frequently has questionable control schemes (as noted, Indigo Prophecy‘s QTEs are annoying, and Heavy Rain and Detroit both have some iffy moments), Beyond seems determined to make me smash the damned controller. “Press the direction of Jodie’s movement when the camera slows!” the game tells me helpfully. Sure. Mind telling me which part’s movement I’m following? How about not changing the camera angle mid-input? Some indication of when to actually press it? No? Okay.

I don’t know how he managed to convince Sony to let him make Detroit after Beyond, but I’m apparently in the minority. Oh well. I’ve gotten up to where Ellen Page is homeless and feeling very indie-film, so I think I’m about a third of the way through; I can slog through the rest. Don’t know if I’m going to get the Platinum, though; among other things, it requires playing through the whole game in Duo mode, which I am not looking forward to.

Also revisited an old survival horror game called White Night. It’s a weird little artsy noir ghost story. Has some good ideas – the graphical presentation is definitely different and interesting, the story so far (I’m in chapter 3 of 6 currently) is interesting, grotesque enough to make you go “ewww” and subtle enough to make you have to work out the details and connections yourself without it feeling too vague and airy.

The controls are fucking awful, though. Combined with limited save opportunities, limited resources and one hit kills, as well as 150+ collectibles, it’s a slog. Another one that’s probably not going to be in the Platinum cabinet; among other things, you have to beat the game in one sitting between 8PM and 8AM the next day, which given how tedious and frustrating the game can be, I don’t know that I want to do it. But I’m pretty sure I can knock it into the 90%+ range, if I just sit down and do it.

All this backtracking and picking at things long dormant in my trophy list is about to push my overall percentage to 50%. I will do a little dance when that happens. (Probably about the same time as I finish either White Night, Beyond, or Indigo Prophecy, though completing the Rapunzel minigame in Catherine or getting the last couple of endings in Code Vein might do it, as well. Pushing a 15-20% into the 60%s seems more likely than tipping an 80% into a 90%, though.

Ghost Parade is on the way from GameFly; how no idea how that’s going to go. Apparently it’s a Metroidvania set in a forest full of Indonesian mythological and supernatural creatures? We’ll see. No one’s done a trophy guide for it yet that I can find, so it’s going to be mostly blind. We’ll see if I can wring a Plat out of it. Doesn’t seem very popular or played, either. Could end up in the rare shelf. Exciting!

What about you folks out there? What are you playing? What’s in your to-do list? What do you think should be added to mine? Let us know down below!

This last week was all about Spirit Hunter: NG. For those not aware of it, the game is a visual novel, primarily focused on hunting ghosts and surviving their “grudges” against the living; it’s the sequel to last year’s Death Mark (which has since been rebranded as Spirit Hunter: Death Mark, for some reason; don’t know why they didn’t just call this one Death Mark 2: Spirit Hunter or some such, but hey, whatever floats your boat.)

It was pretty satisfying, and like the original, was genuinely disturbing in some parts, especially when discussing the origin of the ghosts. For a couple of examples, one of the cases involves a pregnant woman who was kidnapped, had her child cut out of her by a midwife, and then left to die in the middle of a park; another involves a mentally challenged young woman with gigantism who believed her teddy bear was alive (and her little brother.) When the doll was damaged, being beheaded, she misinterpreted a local legend and began decapitating local animals, believing that if she presented them to a local shrine, it would allow her “brother” to be alive again. The townspeople turned on and murdered her.

Yeah, it’s pretty fucked up. Like the first game, the art is amazing and suits the game perfectly, with monsters who are honestly more disturbing than those found in nearly any other game with the possible exception of Silent Hill; it’s just frustrating that past chapter 1, the game blocks using the share button, so I wasn’t able to spread some of that great art around.

The trophy list wasn’t anything special, essentially entirely progression based, with a minimum of two and a half-ish playthroughs (for the “good” ending you have to resolve all the ghost’s issues and keep all your pals alive; for the “bad” ending, you have to “kill” all the ghosts – and thus, most of your friends – and for the “normal” ending, you mix and match a bit.) There’s also separate trophies for each chapter’s resolution, one for appeasing the spirit, the other for banishing it.

I enjoyed my time with the game, and again, like the first, my only complaint was I wanted more. Thankfully, from what I hear, Spirit Hunter 3 is in the works, so perhaps next Halloween we’ll get that one; it almost certainly won’t be available for Vita, but whether it’ll be PS4, PS5, or skip ’em both and just go to Switch is up in the air. We’ll see.

There was also some picking at Friday the 13th, picking up a couple of miscellaneous trophies (for calling in Tommy Jarvis 13 times and attacking Jason 13 times with a flare gun), though the rampant abuse of the systems and people’s mocking attitudes have somewhat soured me on the game. I also finally sat down and finished a playthrough of Hidden Agenda, which is a great game, even though sometimes your choices and what ends up happening seem to have vague relations at best.

Last, but not least, Yakuza 4 has finally hit the PS4, so I’ve been working on that. Mostly trying to get the assorted miscellaneous trophies out of the way, like the minigames and such, before diving into the story in earnest, but it’ll probably be mined for all the trophies I can get in the next week or so. Like most Yakuza games, I probably won’t platinum it – the goddamn shogi and mahjong hoses me every time – but also like other Yakuza titles, I’ll do my best to do everything else.

Also picked up Sekiro, Catherine: Full Body (really enjoying people telling me how problematic and transphobic I am over that one) and Code: Vein, but haven’t really delved into those, as of yet.

As always, if you want to stalk me and my progress, you can find me on PSN under Ashande or on Xbox as Typo Monster. You can also stop by my Twitch channel, where I sometimes stream my escapades. If you like what I do and want to help me keep at it, you can drop a dime in the bucket over on Patreon, as well.

What about you folks? What are you playing? Got suggestions on games or trophies I should chase after next? Drop ’em down below!