Insomniac Nightmares

With my continuing illness, I’ve found myself poking all over the internet. I think I’ve almost reached the end of it. Given my natural proclivities, I find myself watching paranormal television shows and tons of YouTube videos on the subject; while I tell myself at least some of it is “research” for Smoke & Mirrors and Believe Me, part of it is also just for entertainment.

But it’s not that entertaining, sometimes. Mainly when it delves into the land of pure stupidity, suspension of disbelief on the level of thinking that humans can actually fly or subsist entirely on sunlight, or so patently false that I have to wonder if I’m being trolled or if people are genuinely that nutty.

I know it sounds silly to some, who would lump all things paranormal or supernatural into the category of balderdash, but I’m sure even die hard skeptics can agree there’s a difference between fanciful concepts that still rely on “if A then B” logic versus things that are completely batshit insane.

In that mindset, I felt like sharing some of the supernatural items that fascinate the world but that I think are utter hogwash and should be buried, forgotten, and left to die before any more idiots take up the cause and do anything else psycho believing in it.

Amityville – It’s been done to death, and I’m sure most folks reading this know my position on the matter. But in my opinion, there was not a goddamn thing that happened in that house that even vaguely resembles what was in the book or film. Actually, you can extend this one out to cover pretty much anything Ed and Lorraine Warren were involved with. If they’re around, expect things to get blown way out of proportion, utterly BS claims to be made, and a book deal waiting somewhere in the background.

Zozo – Supposedly some dude found a weird Ouija board in his attic and all kinds of bad shit happened when he played with it. Now, I am not the one to say that nothing bad can come of messing with Ouija boards – I do believe they can be dangerous in the wrong hands – but the whole story of the Zozo board and the internet explosion of people claiming to have contacted the “demon” contained in it is riddled with inconsistencies and just plain stupidity that only blooms the more fanciful myths and interpretations get applied to the story. (And gosh, funny how a one-time drug addict down on his luck roadie with a vague interest in the supernatural might find a Ouija board with a made-up name supposedly written on it that uses the same symbology as one of his favorite bands, pushes for exposure on shows like Ghost Adventures, and then sells a book…)

Slenderman – Really. Let this one die. Is it fun? Yes. Is it a cool concept, giving us great games like Slender: The Arrival, awesome episodes of television shows like Supernatural‘s “Thin Man” episode, and creative projects like “Marble Hornets”? Yes. But it’s also a bloody work of fiction, created for a contest by a very creative and overachieving individual. Slenderman isn’t real. He’s not accompanied by a cadre of similar beings and demanding human sacrifice to turn people into Proxies or protect their family. It’s fiction, people. 100%. Stop it.

I seem kind of hostile, and that’s probably because I am. We have enough things to worry about in the world, and enough potentially paranormal things to investigate or consider, without piling on garbage that makes believers look even nuttier than they already do, or promotes atrocities like the Payton Leutner stabbing.

What about you folks out there? What are your favorite (or most hated) paranormal hoaxes? Got something that a lot of folks believe in but that you think is utter hogwash? Share it down below!