Struggling with some anxiety? So are others, and they have some tips to share. Check it out! (Comments disabled here, please visit the original post.)
Allow me to put this simply: anxiety sucks. It sucks a lot, actually. And as much as it sucks, it’s equally debilitating, making it pretty challenging to deal with at times. I have Generalized Anxiety Disorder, and I’ve been dealing with anxiety since I was in high school. I’m certainly not an expert when it […]
So, yesterday I signed up to play with the cool kids in NaNoWriMo. Today I’m panicking.
I have no idea what I’d write for it.
I know I don’t want to use one of my half-finished manuscripts that are strewn about my hard drive like fish carcasses along the shore when the tide goes out. I feel starting fresh is the “fair” and “correct” way to do it, and anything I’m currently working on or previously touched is “dirty” with poor mental states and the stench of abandonment.
So I sat there all day yesterday and most of today, wondering what sort of story I would want to write, and am drawing a blank. I tried leaving the word processor open and staring at it for a while. I tried doing other things, hoping inspiration would strike while I wasn’t thinking about it.
Nothing’s coming to me. I know it’s probably weird to be worried about it, since I’m not supposed to put pen to paper for 25 whole days, but…
That’s on top of the usual issues of “why bother writing at all,” my usual load of depression that says “why bother leaving the bed at all,” and the stress of finances and moving.
Perhaps I should reconsider. We’ll see.
After two years in this place, it’s time to go. Moving down south a bit. Though it’s just a hop, skip, and jump, its still a trifle intimidating. Packing everything up and heading into a new place.
Hopefully the new place lacks pot clouds leaking under the door and aggravating my health problems. Hopefully there aren’t any bioweapons-grade escapee bedbugs in the new place. My doctors are closer, for the most part. The place is bigger, and may actually be laid out in a fashion better suited to using my PSVR or streaming in a way that doesn’t leave my camera looking like it’s pointing through the Piss Christ. We shall see. It may even have a layout that lets me put up a green curtain, so I can feel like one of the cool kids. I have no idea what I’d actually do with that, but its nice to think about.
While I prep for that move, it makes it a bit harder to work, though. A lot of my things are already packed up (it’s going to be a very tight schedule between our move out date in the old place and the move-in date for the new one), and there’s stacked boxes everywhere. Navigating the house is like snaking through a labyrinth and is liable to only get worse.
It means there’s less time and less ability to make content, which I hate. It also makes it way too easy for me to say “ehhhhhh, maybe later.” As a born procrastinator with severe depression, excuses like that are not my friends.
I’m going to try to stay consistent. I’m almost at a 60-day streak here on this site, and I’ve managed to make at least one tweak in Black Yard and earn two trophies every day. That may not sound like much, but it’s continual measurable progress. I don’t want to lose it.
It’ll be interesting to see if my Bird Box powers of navigation transfer to the new place, though. I would get lost constantly back in Reno or Carson City, and would end up hopelessly confused in South Lake Tahoe. Here in Salem, I’m like a damned homing pigeon. I don’t know that I’ll still have that power in Albany. I hope so.
Hopefully everyone else’s weekend is going well, and you’re finding productive things to do; as for me, it’s off to pack up my “research materials.”
If you like my stuff and want to help keep me doing it, you can always drop a dime in the bucket either on Patreon or in my surgery fund over at GoFundMe. Either is always appreciated, though never required. Thanks for visiting.
A quick primer on some warning signs. If you see these in yourself, please seek help. (Comments disabled here, please visit the original post.)
I would argue that many of us believe we’re able to identify someone who struggles with anxiety based on the symptoms they may be demonstrating. Some of the most common symptoms of anxiety that are easily recognizable include worrying, self-doubt, insecurity, and panic attacks. What many of us are unaware of, though, are the more […]
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