Insomniac Nightmares

According to the doctor, I’m crazy. They can’t find the physical cause for my problems, and therefore it’s all in my head.

His exact words were “It’s not like you’re crazy or anything, but poor mental health can spiral into physical symptoms, especially if you have certain conditions.”

I interpreted that as “You’re not crazy, but you’re crazy.” Maybe I missed a memo. Besides, it’s true… I am crazy. Schizophrenia, bipolar, depression… I’m a wonderful bag of marbles, filled to the brim with croakers and chokers.

What that means in the long term, I don’t know. If they can’t show there’s something physically wrong with me, then no matter how miserable I am and no matter how many doctors tell me it’s not safe, I’ll have to try to find some form of work. I brought this up to the doctor today, who decided to schedule another functional capacity evaluation. Maybe they’ll pronounce me cured through the wonders of modern medicine. Or maybe they’ll hand me a sheet that means I don’t have to lie to any prospective employers when they ask if I am ready and able to work. We’ll see.

So yeah, been a fun day. Still not sure if I”m going to manage a second writing prompt this evening or not… I’m skimming for new lists, because the one I was working from 1) only has 365 entries, which could be a problem, since I’ve done 2 or even 3 almost every day, and 2) has a lot of references to things and concepts which just aren’t around anymore… my favorite being the suggestion to go to Missed Connections on Craigslist and write a story about a post you find there. If anyone out there has good writing prompt list suggestions, please share.

Hope everyone out there is having a better day than I am. Gonna go listen to more moody music and look for lists. Until next time.