Insomniac Nightmares

I mentioned yesterday I finally got through the assorted barriers of procrastination to finally begin work on Black Yard.

The question I have to ask now, though – which may well be that procrastination, my depression, or my general lack of self-worth talking, mind you – is: is it worth pursuing?

I don’t have the artistic or musical skill to create images, sprite maps, or music unique to the game. Since I’m still arguing with six doctors and three different insurance companies for someone to process my disability paperwork, I don’t have funds to buy resource packs for RPG Maker or to commission folks on Fiverr for it. That means I’m stuck with the default stuff, which is obviously designed for generic medieval western European fantasy settings. Not such a good fit for a game set in America in the 80s. I’m doing what I can to make it work, but it still doesn’t feel “right.”

Which leaves me wondering: Should I bother? I made some headway yesterday, getting most of the “special” items sorted out, I have placeholders at least for the map screens I need, and most of what’s left is doing my best to make it look pretty and hooking them together with the narrative. But knowing, as I do, that it’s still not going to be “right,” even when I expend everything I am capable of on the project and render it “as done as I can make it” seems to beg the question of if it’s worth doing at all.

I don’t know. What I do know is that a large chunk of my afternoon today will likely be working on the “Memory” events that form the bulk of the narrative, and I’ll figure it out from there. For now, here’s my crappy title screen:

The name probably should change, too. Someone will yell at me about it at some point, I’m sure. I don’t even know how or why I settled on Black Yard.

That’s all for today folks; lemme know your thoughts down below. Or if anyone is familiar with the process of what to do with it once it’s done so people can play it, that’d help too.

As always, if you are of a mind and are interested in helping me keep my prescriptions current and filled, or want to chip in for my surgery situation, you can do so via Patreon or GoFundMe. Anything helps and is always appreciated, but never required, and I’m more than happy to give whatever shout outs you request in return.