Archaic Misery

Ever reach down into the bottom of your desk, trunk, hard drive, or other storage facility and bring up a relic so bad you immediately wish you had thought to burn it decades ago?

Had that moment recently; thought I’d share.


This came from a time when grunge was on the rise, we all wore flannel butt-capes made of our shirts tied about our waists, jeans were not cool if they didn’t look like they’d been put through a thresher first, and you probably had your wallet attached to a chain. My friends and I were 16 or so, and convinced that one day, Gypsy Killers (the name of our ill-fated band… at least, at one point. We went through about 40 of them) would be headlining for Metallica… or even better, that Metallica would be headlining for us.

Yes, we were losers.

But this little lyrical scrap perhaps showcases why GK didn’t become the next thrash-metal sensation. *gargles, gives a could of me-me-memes, and proceeds*

"Lost In Sin":

Let's all go to the disco,
in Hell, they know you well.
There's a woman there,
with fire in her hair,
and the devil in her pants.
The friendly Mr. Morrison,
who held the door on your way in,
has blocked the path with coffins,
and lost his friendly grin.

Yeah. It’s pretty awful. Worse still if you picture it being done in a Leonard Cohen-style funeral dirge, which is how it was done.

I mean, seriously. “The devil in her pants.” (There was also a choral interruption at that point, with the backup singers chanting “Pants, pant, panting.”)

Still, I suppose I can try to look at it with a bemused rather than disgusted eye; remember when I was young and dumb and thought everything was oh-so-witty. (Of course, except for the young part, not much has changed some 25 years later…)

What about you folks out there? Have any relics lurking that you’d rather forget? Have you dredged them up to laugh at them or recoil in horror? Care to share? Let us know down below!

KA Spiral no signature

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